cropped salebarnFairview Sale Barn  Fairview, IL

 

Joke of the Week  --

Anyone wanting to help keep our "Joke of the Week" more current, please email to:  debi1948@gmail.com

 

 

MY KIND OF GIRL...

 

 

A little girl was talking to her father.  "Since Valentine's Day is for a Christian saint and we're Jewish," she asks, "will God get mad at me for giving someone a valentine?                                    

Thelma's father thinks a bit then says "No, I don't think God would get mad. Who do you want to give a valentine to?"

"The whole ISIS group," she says.

"Why them?" her father asks in shock. 

"Well," she says, "I thought that if a little American Jewish girl could have enough love to give them a valentine, they might start to think that maybe we're not all bad, and maybe start loving people a little bit.  And if other kids saw what I did and then they sent valentines to them, they'd love everyone a lot.  And then they'd start going all over the place telling everyone how much they loved them and how they didn't hate anyone anymore." 

Her father's heart swells and he looks at his daughter with new found pride.

"Thelma, that's the most wonderful thing I've ever heard." 

"I know," Thelma says, "and once that gets them out in the open, the Marines could blow the s*** out of them."

 

Better than a Flu  Shot!

Miss Beatrice, The church organist, Was in her eighties And had never been married. She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room.  She invited him to have a  seat while she prepared tea...

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass
bowl sitting on top of it.  The bowl was filled with water,  and in the water floated of all things, a condom!
When she returned With tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity About the bowl of water and its
strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.

'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this? Pointing to the bowl.

'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. 
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.

 

 

Tom finally decided to tie the knot with his longtime girlfriend.  One evening, after the honeymoon, he was welding some stuff in the garage just for fun. 

His new wife was standing there at the bench watching him.  

After a long period of silence she finally spoke, "Honey, I've just been thinking, now that we are married maybe it's time you quit spending all your time out here in the shop. 

You probably should just consider selling all your welders along with your gun collection and that stupid vintage Harley." 

Tom got a horrified look on his face.

She said, "Darling, what's wrong?" 

He replied, "There for a minute you were starting to sound like my ex-wife." 

"Ex-wife!" she screamed, "YOU NEVER TOLD ME YOU WERE MARRIED BEFORE!" 

Tom replied: “I wasn't."

 

 

 

 

 

http://www.christianpost.com/news/10-heartwarming-pictures-of-children-praying-103652/

Dear God, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on grandpa's computer. Amen!